Safety concerns

This is two-pronged. The first is immediate safety. I've seen tv shows about hobos and it seems that there isn't one segment that goes by where "multiple stab wounds" isn't mentioned. I'm excited about this Hoboburger, but I don't want to die or almost die. So my safety would have to be guaranteed. I have a family to support and I don't want to see them out on the street if I get stabbed. The worst part is that we just reupped our medical benefits and I left "Hobo Stab Coverage" unchecked. So if I ever do get stabbed, I either have to pay out of pocket, or convince the insurance company that I was actually stabbed by a drifter, and not a hobo. Good luck with that. Any drifter that has even looked at a train is categorized a hobo, which is a whole other issue that I may get into one day, but that day is not today. But getting back to the stabbing, I think it would almost be better if I was stabbed to death, because if I were to actually live, I would always have to hear about "Why didn't you pay for Hobo stab insurance, you knew you were going to be in a place with hobo foods!"

The second safety concern that I have is longer-lasting. As a child, we once grabbed some potatoes out of the pantry and walked the rail, eventually finding a spot to cook some sliced potatoes on a piece of slate that we found. Now I'm not sure of the level of carcinogens in slate, but I have to assume it's really high if you heat it with fire. Looking back on it now, I'm guessing it was probably about the same as smoking a pack of unfiltered Winstons all at once, but through a potato. I need to know that if I go to this Hobo food party that 1) no stabbing; 2) normal levels of carcinogens will both occur. I hope these two things can be guaranteed. If they cannot, I will have to make some alterations. I'm currently working on a form of chain mail that can withstand broken bottles of Mad Dog. However, they're completely useless against shivs. But the good news is that I've got like nine months to work the kinks out. Here's hoping.