Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Poll Results Are In -- Hobo Beats Badger!

I must admit, I was very surprised--pleasantly--by these results.

First off, let's display the poll and subsequent results. The poll this time around was:

Who would win a fight between a hobo, a large bobcat, a small bear, an angry python and a protective mama badger?

45% said Hobo
36% said Protective Mama Badger
9% said Small Bear
9% said Large Bobcat
0% said Angry Python

Let me first admit that I initially had voted Large Bobcat, thinking that the combination of being large, having claws, having teeth, and being mean as hell would be a combination worth reckoning with.

But then I began thinking about the hobo--backed up against his boxcar wall, protecting his bindle and extra shoe, while a large bobcat stared him down. For not the first time, I put myself in the hobo's shoes at this moment. There is no way I'm going to lose a fight to a cat of any kind--other than a mountain lion, tiger, lion, liger, tigon, jaguar, leopard, black panther, white panther, pink panther, or hefty ocelot. Other than that, no chance. That bobcat would be going down! So I changed my vote to hobo.

That was my thought process, but I don't know what anybody else's was. Perhaps the most amazing thing was that I didn't have to give a qualifier to the hobo, like "Starving Hobo" or "Tuberculosis Hobo" or "Furious Hobo", and he still garnered the most votes. I guess what the poll says is that in a fight, people expect the hobo to come out on top, regardless of the competitor.

Could there have been better competitors in this poll? Perhaps, but I only went with animals that a hobo is likely to come into contact with, hence no Bitter King Cobras (the snake) or Rabid Kangaroos.

I think the poll also showed a great deal of respect for the mother badger. Everybody knows that badgers are mean sons'a'guns, so I wasn't too surprised to see 36% of America think an angry mama badger could take a hobo down. However, what I think most of those who voted for the badger forget about is that a mama badger's main concern is to her kids, so she's not gonna be in a sustained fight with a hobo, and once the hobo backed off a bit, she would leave to tend to her kids. Which, in turn, would force a count-out and the hobo would win.

America was equally unimpressed by Small Bear and Large Bobcat. I've always been of the opinion that I can take a small bear or a black bear, and I don't even have an extra shoe to protect, so there was no way I wasn't taking a hobo in that fight.

I've already given you my thoughts on the large bobcat, so I'll not go into that again.

Surprisingly, America has no fighting respect for the Angry Python. But against a hobo, I can't blame them. Knife versus nonpoisonous snake isn't exactly a battle reserved for pay-per-view.

So those are the results from this poll. Please feel free to comment on why you voted how you did, so that my research won't be so incomplete.

Thanks to the 100% of you who voted!

(That's a little bit of polling humor.)

1 comment:

Lego Man said...

This was my rationale when voting for the hobo to win...

The badger kills the python.

The bobcat kills the badger.

The bear kills the bobcat.

The hobo would have no problem taking out the bear.

Why? Because Da Bears suck, and everyone with a brain knows that Da Bears can't beat anyone.

Now, maybe if it was a bear Cub...